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Happiness not 100% guaranteed

Yowdy Dooty! Greetings and salutations to the site of Shane E.(I refuse to reveal my last name, because it's confined by the CIA, although some of you may know it, so SHA OOP!!) I also refuse to post my picture on the Internet because many people have complained that it was too ugly. BoO HoOoO!

What would a person put on his personal website? At first I did not know what to put on it, but after a period of thought, I still do not know. So, for now I'll just ramble about my life.

I was born in the deep mountains of China. My mother was a giant panda, and my father was the medicine man of a native tribe. I grew up in the territory of my father's tribe, mixing medicinal herbs and eating bamboo. Since I had no other siblings and there were no other young ones in the tribe I spent most of my time wandering the woods alone. I learned many survival skills, I was only three. Then, the day came when my father's tribe left to some other place, I spent four months looking for the tribe, so then I was forced to stay with my mom, the panda. It was hard because all that I understood from her was sniffs and growls. So of course, I left her in search of new life. Now, I'm living in Santa Ana. On my journey here, my mother ate a magical bamboo plant, which turned her into a beautiful human. And my father changed his medicinal ways and both of them came to the United States with me.

These are a few of my favorite things:

Favorite Name: Seymour	Favorite Flower: Lotus	Favorite Fast Food: Carl's Jr.
Favorite Last Name: Butts	Favorite Animal: Panda	Favorite Toilet Paper: Charmin
Favorite Old School Video Game: Metroid	Favorite Hangout: Park	Favorite Toothpaste: Colgate
Favorite Snack: Jelly Beans	Favorite Video Game: Barbie: Horse Adventure	Favorite Guitar: Fender Jazzmaster
Favorite Artist: M. C. Escher	Favorite Door: Sliding Door	Favorite Lawnmower: John Deere
Favorite Band: Incubus	Favorite Movie So Far: Kill Bill	Favorite Ice-Cream Flavor: Mint
Favorite Exercise: Jumping Jacks	Favorite Stationary Company: Sanford	Favorite Drink: Pepsi or Coca-Cola
Favorite Cable Company: Adelphia	Favorite Backpack: Jansport	Favorite Soap: Lever 2000
Favorite Ball: Spalding	Favorite Refrigerator: Kenmore	Favorite Banana: Chiquita
Favorite Subjects: Math, English	Favorite Pastime: Drawing	Favorite Favorite: Toilet Paper

Hope my website has caused a few giggles and has made your day a tiny bit happier.